Q: I am married to a middle eastern man. He treats me well and is wonderful. However, his jealousy is really bad at times. If we walk down the street and a man looks at me, he goes crazy!! We live in europe, he can not handle another man smiling at me. Once we were in a restaurant and I went to the bathroom, a man stared at me (but I never saw this) my husband went into a rage at this man and we were thrown out of the restaurant. I have told him I would never do anything with another man, I dont even touch them!! But he says the problem is the men and not me. However, he says this is how middle eastern men are. I was wondering is this true? He has never laid a finger on me. However, I am worried one day he will get badly hurt as he has no problem starting a fight with a group of men. Also, I am a natural blonde with blue eyes and he seems to be fascinated by this!! He will not allow his friends to talk or look at me. Is this normal behaviour of a middle eastern man? Well we are both in our 20s! I have agreed to not touch another man, by this I mean of course no sexual contact, but also any other form of touching ie hugging etc. I have chosen to respect him and his religion Islam. This is why I do not touch any man. Also, I do not look at men, I lower my gaze. This I did before I met him, as I have found that men are less likely to approach me if I do not look at them. Just because my husband is from a different culture does not mean, we do not have a good relationship. I did say he is wonderful to me, it is only the jealousy. He only became jealousy after we married.
A: He is not jealous.Its just because of his religion and the culture that he has grown in. It really depends on his religion,if he is Muslim,or he has grown up in middle east or in a religious family is really normal. If he hasn't live in Europe for many years,then I think he is confused,and just want to keep his good relationship with you and save his family with some strictly rules that make pressure on you. Then I think it would be useful for you to learn about his religion and culture more.The more you know the better you can understand him. But,as you know,this is an important problem.So one night when he is in a good mood,go and talk to him,and tell him no guy can start a relationship with you(Sandra),unless you let him.and then,make sure that he understand that you love him and wont let anybody to destroy your lovely,little family. ***With Best Wishes for You and Your Husband***